Worship at His feet

The snow is crisply falling as Bethany and I enjoy a cup of hot chocolate on this very cold Colorado evening. Today has been an intense day at Ellerslie (although we’ve yet to see anything but the intensity of spirit-led passion for the gospel.) A lot of the day was spent on the teaching of being seated in Christ. Gary’s one Bible was his “In Christ” study Bible and is very marked up with references to our position “in Christ”. Of course this message was near and dear to my heart.

Bethany and I came back from the first morning session and I sat at my computer, signed onto Gary’s log on, and read page after page of his notes on grace and our position in Christ. For the first time since his death these notes brought me great joy! In previous months they had brought nothing but sorrow and pain for once again the voice of all this teaching had died and it felt as though the most important aspect of our lives (the powerful word of God) had died with it. Now I was able to once again rejoice in this message because it did not die with my husband! Eric passed around the microphone this morning so that some of us (there are 75 students!) could share in one sentence what God has been speaking to us and how he has been ministering to us. I took the mic and through a shaky grief filled voice said, “God has been showing me that His truth is still alive even when a man of God dies.” So yes, this has been an incredible time of healing for me. It’s been a time to embrace once again the depth of teaching that was so very vital to Gary’s and my life together.

What has God been showing me about the larger picture of this season of my life? A couple of weeks ago John Leech said something that impacted me. He was talking about who we are apart from what we do for a living. Right away in my spirit I said to myself, “I am a worshipper of the Most High God”. This is so clear to me that it didn’t take time to think about or ponder. This same thing is what is coming back to me during this first week at Ellerslie. Right now I am a worshipper of the Most High God. For 18 years I ministered to my husband through prayer, warfare worship, serving him through a warm and welcoming home full of soft music, pleasing lights and delicious dinners. I interceded for him when he would teach and stood in the gap for him as God used him mightily within our family and in other people’s lives. My worship tended to always be for a warfare type of purpose. Proclaiming the Glory of God to Taxco through the battles won in worship. Praying that my husband would be anointed for ministry of the word as he would teach. Praying that the spirit of God would fill our home and our family. Casting down the work of the evil one. Etc. etc. etc. I told God many times in my early Christian life that I did not enjoy warfare! I’m a girly girl not a super hero she-warrior! Yet, spiritual warfare is exactly the battle ground that God had called me to for the past 18 years of my life. It’s who I am to the point of not really knowing how to put down my armor and sit at the feet of Jesus.

What I feel God calling me to in this season of my life is to be solely a worshipper of the Most High God.  I am to minister to Him and to Him alone! My calling is to enter into the holy of holies many times throughout the day simply to minister to God as he sits upon His throne. I’m not there on behalf of anyone but in His presence simply to minister to Him and to sit before him and soak in his presence.

This is beautiful for me and throughout all the years of intense spiritual battles this is the type of thing that I longed for. Yet, now that it is placed before my by the Spirit of God, it’s difficult to get out of my chainmail and as the 24 elders around the throne just worship at His feet crying “Holy, Holy Holy!”

What is God saying to us as a family? I’m not certain. I will say that we are now entertaining the thought of living in Windsor! We have so connected with the teaching at Ellerslie that it seems as if it would be fitting to continue on, to live in the area and to attend their on-campus church. The question in all of our minds though, is where does God want us to be? What is his plan and purpose for us in Colorado? So we continue to seek Him as we totally yield our lives to his purposes.

To be honest a lot of other areas offer more fun. I mean Windsor is next door to Greeley! J There’s not much happening in Greeley other than the very “fragrant” farm smell that would waft as far as Loveland on a warm summer day! I remember different times in Loveland I would begin to smell this nasty odor and walk all around the house trying to find out what had died and been undetected and then someone would comment that it was just Greeley that I was experiencing with greater pungency than was typical! Windsor is a nice small town but really it’s in the middle of no-where. Yet, all I can think of is the power of God and His word and none of us want to leave the precious atmosphere of his spirit. Therefore, much prayer is going to go into the decision of where we will be living.

If we were close enough to the campus we could welcome students in for an occasional home cooked meal and warmth by the fire place. Most of the students are from the East Coast and therefore very far from home and family. And of course most of the students are very young with this being the first time away from home for some of them. It would be wonderful to be kind of an off campus home environment for the students as they have traveled by themselves to a “distant land” in order to seek the face of God. Part of my gifting is to be able to create a very warm and cozy home environment. I know for a lot of these guys and gals this would be a welcome aspect of campus life. And because our home atmosphere so closely matches the Ellerslie campus code of conduct, there would be a smooth transition from the campus to our home.

In any case, we are praying about whether God is leading us to live in Windsor in order to make ourselves available to the Ellerslie campus. Your prayers for His guidance in our life would be greatly appreciated.