First two days in the States!

We’ve been in the States now for 2 days. It doesn’t seem real yet as we haven’t gone out on our own and visited anything familiar to our family. Chan’s home, where we are staying, is an amazing house and perfect for our family. Not only is the guest house beautiful but it is very warm and inviting with a wonderfully large kitchen! I never expected anything like this. It’s amazing!

Right now the changes that we are dealing with are being able to drink the faucet water, putting paper in the toilet, and walking around without shoes on without fearing for our lives with scorpions! These are all very good changes! Yet, ones that take emotional energy to adjust to. The most difficult for me is the toilet paper issue. I think because I saw the sewer system in our house in Taxco and I know why Mexican’s put their toilet tissue in a trash can. The way the sewer pipes are constructed, it’s just impossible to carry paper through them. So having seen our house system and worrying about accidental paper getting into the lines, I’m especially sensitive to this aspect.

 In LAX Bethany and I went to the bathroom and I thought, “Oh great, no trash can by the toilet! Now what do I do, carry this around all day?” And then I remembered, “Dah, I can flush it!” The first time I brushed my teeth with faucet water I did it literally with a lot of fear. Those safety habits become such a part of your life in Mexico that to do otherwise is extremely dangerous. (We’re talking Typhoid not just a little tummy ache!) Nathaniel said that he went through the same thing at Judi Davidson’s home when she offered him his first glass of water. He smiled and took it and then looked around for the purified water jug to make certain that she used purified water and not tap water! It took him a few minutes to remember that this caution wasn’t necessary. Bethany and I have been enjoying walking around in our socks. Yet, getting up in the middle of the night I was really scared to walk across the floor. It felt like I was doing something really daring to go without shoes to the bathroom!

It’s also been really difficult to remember not to speak in Spanish. Nathaniel summed it up perfectly when he said that Spanish was our outward language. We rarely spoke it at home other than incorporating certain words and expressions into our everyday life. But the moment we were not with our immediately family, Spanish was the only language spoken (except with a couple friends who speak moderate English.) Therefore, in the airport when we were being asked questions, our natural response was “Si, gracias and the ever present “Buenos dias, tardes, or noches” when greeting someone. We all slipped up a couple of times and used Spanish to a very white American airport employee!

So yes, right now we are in reverse culture shock. We love everything around us, as we loved everything around us in Mexico; it just takes time to adjust to a new way of doing things and a “new” culture! We all have said that we feel like we’re on some type of vacation. It hasn’t sunk into our emotions that we’ve moved back. The only grief moment I’ve had is seeing the Chan’s night stand lamps in the guest house master bedroom. They were Gary’s and mine and Laura and Eugene bought them before we left for Mexico. Laura told me in an e-mail that they were in the guest house so I was prepared but it was still difficult to see them. Otherwise, nothing is familiar enough yet for there to trigger memories good or sorrowful. Right now my grief seems easier because everything is so different. I don’t have the familiar memories of my life in Mexico with Gary and we haven’t gone to our family places in Loveland yet.

Today I’m going to get a winter coat and a pair of jeans! All I have are capris, short sleeved shirts and a light cardigan sweater! Nathaniel’s been building with a Lego set that he bought and had sent to Chan’s before we arrived, Bethany’s been reading (what else) and I’ve been admiring my first American kitchen!. I can’t wait to cook a meal here.

We will desperately miss the Mexican people and areas of the Mexican culture. We won’t miss the inconveniences of living outside of the States. In the States we have purified water coming out of the faucet, dishwashers, clothes dryers, no fear of scorpions, driving a car once again, healthy food, and amazing array of products, and comfy furniture. There are also wonderful bargain locations such as garage sales, Craig’s List and coupons at Kohl’s! (Coupons do not exist in Mexico!) When we rest from the enormous amount of stress and work that it took to move back to the States, we will be shocked at how easy life is compared to our life in Mexico. It takes so long just to accomplish a simple task like running to the store for a forgotten ingredient in a recipe or drying clothes in the rainy season, or washing an enormous amount of dishes each day by hand, and so on and so forth. America is not only the land of the free and the brave but the land of tremendous conveniences!

I miss our friends though. I miss the natural expression of physical affection in Mexico. I miss the personal quality of talking with someone in a Mexican airport or other place of business. I miss beginning every encounter with a smile, a greeting and a less hurried pace. Mexico is the “feel good” capital of the world! If you’re feeling sad or lonely just go out and about in a Mexican town and when you come back home you’ll be uplifted and joyful. It’s sort of like the old show Cheers, yet not limited to people who know your name but just the whole Mexican world. It’s a comforting place of love, friendship and relational warmth. I don’t know how many glasses of water direct from the faucet are going to make up for the loss of our friends and the love and warmth we found within the arms of the Mexican people.

So for right now, our feet are on American soil but our hearts are still in Mexico and probably always will be to a small extent. Bethany said to me during our “girl’s night in LA”, “Mom, I think a part of me will always be Mexican”, “Me too, honey, me too!”